Monday, May 18, 2009

Extract From a Letter

Dear you,
I love it. I love that you are here with us on this whirlwind of an adventure. I fall into bed at night exhausted. So much to take in. So much to choose from. So many choices. Where to live? What area? How hip? How green? How expensive? Close to the kindergarten or close to the 'scene'?

We have found a new place (the 'love at first sight home' fell through and caused a big CRASH in our flow), same area as the first. Yet I hesitate ever so slightly but there are the funkiest gargoyles on the ceiling. It feels grown up and I am ready to be a grown up. I am ready to be a mom. Why the hesitation? That is what I ask myself. Too much information and my mind is a big jumble. I cannot process more... I crash.

Like I've said, I do not doubt that this is where we should be. This is where I want to be. This is all going to be great. It is just the first steps. I guess like a baby learning to walk, bump bump bump she falls bang on her ass over and over again but she know that walking is where it is at. Walking is what comes next. Walking in is her.
Already I feel Berlin is in me. I am so curious about this city. Its turbulent history. Its grit and beauty. It is tangible and for me delicious. It is like a huge smorgasbord and I don't know where to start eating and I am afraid I may have already over eating a few times. Slowly slowly our reality and life will become itself. But we are at the beginning. First steps with lots of bumps and bangs.

Must go talk to Tom now on the balcony, with a glass of wine and the moon(?) well the apartments behind us to light up our chat. We will chat and we try to decide what is best, what is right for all four of us.

Peace and happiness,
erinbell

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